I am not sure about any of you guys, but I think I have lost my mojo. When I had my daughter my friend group was reduced by half. That was ok because most of the friends didn’t feel comfortable around babies and didn’t understand why I had to leave the convo for a minute to grab the baby to breastfeed and that made them squirm the whole time. They stopped hanging out with me but still kept in touch for a while anyway. I choose to move back to my home town from Virginia where I lived for 7 years and gained tons of friends but most of them were made through my x-husband so when I moved, I never heard from anyone except a few women after that. Those women decreased to just one woman whom I know that even though we don’t talk every day I know if I needed something she would be there.
Moving back to my hometown with a newborn made it hard to hang out with my old friends because they were either just getting started with their careers or they left home just as I did. So, while at the gas station one morning I see my high school sweetheart well he was my middle school all the way up to first year in college sweetheart. We had kept in contact after he left my dad’s house the first year we were in Virginia. But I hadn’t seen him in a while, so I went up to him to give him a hug and I just fell in love all over again. We were now back together and now I have his friends and their girlfriends to hang out with. That was great and all but what I needed was my own friends, so I contacted an old friend that I knew was still in town and was in the same stage of life I was in. I am now pregnant with my second kid, married and yes, I know that was quick! It was two months of living together to get pregnant and about to have a baby boy. Well, this friend had one son and was about to have a baby boy as well. We were able to reconnect over that and we became the best of friends. We both had previous medical issues that led us to being prescribed narcotics at a young age and made it hard to go to the baby doctors without feeling the stigma of being a drug addict which we were not, we were managing our pain safely while we were pregnant and delivered healthy babies. We would let our kids play and we would drink coffee and help each other clean our houses. It was nice to have someone to talk to that wasn’t the kids because my husband would come home from work and eat then go to sleep. There was no communication at all. After you spend a whole day with only your child you are starving for adult conversation. After another year and a half and another son we decided that I was far enough in my career it would be easy for me to get a good job in Virginia. So, we packed up and moved the family to Virginia where we knew no one but my father and his girlfriend.
I tried to stay in touch with my friend in West Virginia, but we all know how that goes. If you are not there, people move on without you and you do the same. I have a couple short term friendships here and there since then but my husband hates people and just has no patients or even the trust to meet new people he is always putting the people I meet down and it gets so old that after a while i would just stop trying to make friends but I am so lonely now and he barely talks to me that I think I need to find a new friends, but it has been so long I don’t even know how to make friends. Where do you start? What do you say?
I want my MOJO back so bad. My kids are old enough now that I can go out with the girls or take a girl’s weekend with friends. I want so badly to be able to do these things and have a better life but again how do I get there? I think all women need that one GOOD friend that is there to for them that is there when they need someone to talk to, cry to, laugh to, and just vent to when times are bad or someone to celebrate with when things are going well. If you have that type of friend cherish them because you are lucky !
I’m just a Mom 